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'I would like somebody to keep my extremities warm': Is winter the season for romance?

Molly Gorman
Serenity Strull/ Getty Images A collage with a man and woman kissing inside a blue heart which looks like it's been made of flames, against a red background (Credit: Serenity Strull/ Getty Images)Serenity Strull/ Getty Images

Each year, starting in the late autumn, a cultural phenomenon known as "cuffing season" creeps onto the modern dating scene, when single people seek out a romantic relationship for the cold, dark winter months. But is there any science to it?

'Tis the season to be cuffed.

To clarify, I'm not encouraging bad behaviour, but referring to the cultural phenomenon known as "cuffing season" – when single people wave goodbye to the freedom and frivolity of summer and seek out romantic relationships for the dark, arduous months of the year. I can see the appeal, if not the mere convenience, at least; perhaps it would be nice to have a special someone to dance with under the glistening lights, or cling to amidst the chaos of obligatory family gatherings where a distant relative will undoubtedly, as you're blissfully chomping through a mince pie, interrogate you about your dating life.

Where the term "cuffing season" came from is unclear, though it is suggested that it emerged around 2009 – with "getting cuffed" used as slang for entering a committed relationship. But do people really seek out a partner, deliberately, for the winter? And if so, can this behaviour tell us something about human psychology, or even our evolutionary biology? I found out whether there's any science behind it.

"Cuffing season refers to this idea that mating behaviours are seasonal," says Christine Ma-Kellams, associate professor of psychology at San Jose State University in California. But there's not a consensus on why it happens. If you look at modern-day behaviours, Ma-Kellams says, "Searches for things like porn and dating websites, even prostitution, peak twice a year, so not only in the winter, but in the summer as well". Take this 2012 study on the volume of internet searches for sex-related terms, for example. The results demonstrated a consistent six-month cycle, with peaks in search interest occurring in winter and summer.

Another study from the 1990s sought to find out whether there were seasonal variations of sexual activity. To do this, researchers plotted birth rates outside of marriage, abortions, sexually transmitted infections and condom sales, and found that there was an increase in sexual activity (and unsafe sex) around the Christmas period. However, there have been no recent studies that can suggest this trend is ongoing.

Serenity Strull/ Getty Images During the winter, particularly during the holidays, people often reflect on their relationships – romantic or otherwise (Credit: Serenity Strull/ Getty Images)Serenity Strull/ Getty Images
During the winter, particularly during the holidays, people often reflect on their relationships – romantic or otherwise (Credit: Serenity Strull/ Getty Images)

Nevertheless, data from dating apps suggests that autumn and winter is the most popular time to match with a partner. Dating app Bumble's research shows that the most popular time to swipe is between late November and mid-February – perfect timing for a Valentine's Day breakup – a "highly scripted" day of expectation which, according to these researchers, can arguably cause the demise of relationships rather than enhance them.

"We know that people are somewhat thinking about this idea of romance and the holidays," says Justin Garcia, executive director of The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, an interdisciplinary research centre for sexuality and relationships, and author of The Intimate Animal. Garcia is also dating site Match.com's chief scientific advisor. "Online dating occurs throughout the whole year. There's a lot of activity, millions of swipes and messages being sent every day, but you see a real ramp up in those winter months." Of course, we can theorise why this might be – possibly as we're stuck inside or at our family home where the only means of connecting with new people is through our phones.

If there's an opportunity to have sex, many individuals will – Sue Carter

Perhaps, to find out if dating really is seasonal, we could turn to our animal friends for guidance. Some species – not all – reproduce seasonally. Have humans evolved to do the same?

Mating behaviours

"There are species who reproduce very strictly on a seasonal basis, let's say cows, because cattle have a very long gestation and they have to have fresh grass at the time their babies [are] born," says Sue Carter, distinguished university scientist and professor emerita of biology at Indiana University. Birds are another species that reproduce seasonally.

Humans, however, do not. "Humans are opportunistic in their sex behaviour and in their social behaviour. We're not seasonal. If there's an opportunity to have sex, many individuals will," says Carter.

The seasonal variability in birth rates supports this. While the typical birth pattern in the US has been characterised by a September peak – which matches up to a winter conception – birth rates vary across locations and time. "People say it's [the autumn peak] in response to Christmas and the New Year," says Randy Nelson, professor chair of neurological research at West Virginia University.

However, "nobody's really seen breeding seasons in terms of bursts that you couldn't explain by some other reason that's not biology. It's almost always cultural or social," says Nelson. Some Indigenous agricultural communities, he adds, see more births nine months after the harvest. "And again, it's socially driven… nine months after the harvest is complete, you see a birth spike."

Instead, Nelson says, "the primary seasonality that people focus on [in humans] is seasonal affective disorder (Sad). It's a biological phenomenon." Sad, a recurring winter depression, affects around 1-3% of adults in temperate countries, and is more prevalent in women. (Read more about how seasonal affective disorder affects our sex drive in this story).

Winter blues

Research suggests that for people living in temperate climates like in the UK, their mental health is poorer during the colder months. The limited daylight hours and cold weather means we spend less time outside, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation. When we absorb less daylight, our serotonin levels are reduced too. Serotonin is a crucial neurotransmitter that helps to regulate our circadian rhythm (our internal body clock that regulates our sleep and wake cycles), as well as our behaviour and mood. Essentially, low serotonin levels affects our biological functioning.

"Basically, we live in caves in autumn and winter," says Nelson. Most people don't have the opportunity to get outside – they may get up in the dark, work under artificial light, and go home in the dark. "To make it [our body clock] precisely 24 hours to optimise all your biological functions, including your hormone levels and neurotransmitters and so on, you need to be exposed to bright light. But in winter, we never see that bright light," he says.

Maybe, in this case, we strive to make ourselves feel better in other ways – for example, through finding romance.

Oxytocin brings us together, and it helps us stay together – Sue Carter

"Dysregulating circadian rhythms can also lead to some of these depressive-like or lack of certain hormones, including oxytocin and lack of certain dopaminergic and serotonergic interactions in the brain," Nelson says. "So I think winter may lead to [the mindset of] 'I'm hungry for some dopamine, I'm hungry for some oxytocin, maybe this person will provide that.'"

Oxytocin is known as the "love hormone" – largely because of its role in maternal reproduction, social bonding and stress reduction. It is released into our bloodstream by the pituitary gland in our brains, and makes us feel positive.

Serenity Strull/ Getty Images Unlike some species, humans reproduce all-year round (Credit: Serenity Strull/ Getty Images)Serenity Strull/ Getty Images
Unlike some species, humans reproduce all-year round (Credit: Serenity Strull/ Getty Images)

"We [humans] are absolutely highly social. We go to all the trouble to form communities, civilisations… and we have a physiology to make that work," says Carter. "Oxytocin brings us together, and it helps us stay together." Oxytocin levels also increase with physical touch, for example through hugging and intercourse. "The bonds that are formed during sex can be fairly powerful, especially and this is where the honeymoon effect occurs," says Carter. "Especially during first sexual encounters, even if they're not physical."

There might be something to be said for our body temperature, too. There are biological differences between men and women in how they feel hot or cold – women typically have more fat between their skin and muscles, preventing heat from reaching the skin and extremities (hands, feet and the tip of the nose), and they tend to have a slower metabolic rate than men which slows down heat production. "And so in the winter, you know, it might be more of a case of 'I would like to have somebody that helps keep my extremities warm'," Nelson says. "I mean, it could be a subconscious thought process, but that might be the case."

A time for reflection

If anything else, cuffing season could teach us something about "our relationship with relationships" as Garcia puts it. In particular, he argues that our families play an important role in our quest to find romance. As we're surrounded by family and friends, people may have time to reflect, and ask themselves: what kind of person do I want to come home with for the festive period?

Family and kin are involved in our mating and dating more than any other species on this planet, Garcia says. "There's a lot of family pressure, even if it's not explicit pressure," he says. "Being around family and friends reminds us that there is this expectation of partnering and family formation. It's really uniquely human in that sense."

I think we're seeing, particularly with young people, this idea that they have to work on themselves before they can be in a relationship – Justin Garcia

So, is there any science to cuffing season? I'm not totally convinced. As the experts point out, human mating desires and behaviours aren't seasonal, so it seems more of a social and cultural pattern than anything else, despite the contentious psychology. But maybe you feel differently.

And by the looks of the modern dating scene, Gen Z and millennials in particular are re-evaluating what romantic relationships mean to them. Dating trends come and go – just take the dwindling popularity of dating apps as an example. While it may have once been exciting to swipe through hundreds of budding singles in your local area, a Forbes survey published in summer 2025 reported that 78% of dating app users in the US were facing burnout.

Regardless, we're seeing massive changes in dating culture, Garcia says. "I think part of the issue is this sort of over-focus on self-actualisation. I think we're seeing, particularly with young people, this idea that they have to work on themselves before they can be in a relationship."

Remember, humans are social creatures. "You mature in a relationship, you make mistakes, and you figure out what you are and what you want in a relationship. They [relationships] are the vessel for that," Garcia says.

In which case, maybe I should get swiping. But realistically, I am more of an off-the-cuff kind of person anyway.

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